You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Is Oprah even human
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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