Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You are the jesus of drinking
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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