Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
third nipple confirmed
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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