So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize