I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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