Porn is love you can see.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
