I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
