there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize