Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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