it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
