I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize