I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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