So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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