How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Randomize
