ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize