I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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