We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
