i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
