I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
