I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
