Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
