so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
As shirtless as possible
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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