google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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