What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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