dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Randomize
