We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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