I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
