i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Randomize
