Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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