Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
zippers are such a cool invention
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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