never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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