Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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