Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize