Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
