do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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