Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
