So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
