i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
