? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
