our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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