When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
