don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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