I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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