Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
