I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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