She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
