he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
