She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
