Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize