I just pynch a tree in the face
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
