I think my fart just growled at me.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize