from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
