Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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