I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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