I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I have so many feelings about this burrito
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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