Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize