I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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