rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
