So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
