The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
