hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
