I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
