Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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