So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
