like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
