The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
