I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
