How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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