Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
