dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
