i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
