Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
