I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
