If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
