But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize